Finding little humor where there may be none, David Goldstein surveys USDA/FDA pronouncements on our national food-contamination problem, and finds The Faith-Based Dining Administration.

After reading Goldstein's compilation, please pause to consider that dubbing the issue a "pet-food contamination" problem is, and was from the beginning, use of a conveniently miscoined phrase.

It is unlikely that anyone acquainted with the livestock feed industry was startled to learn that materials turned away from the pet food market fell right into the feed-for-slaughter market.

The fact that the death-dealing contaminants had not yet been identified, and apparently still have not been identified, did not perturb that market adjustment.

Whether poison was really pushed off your pet's plate and right onto yours, perhaps we may yet see.

On that, I bestride no waves and prefer instead to dig and dig.